Consider this: Which way do you prefer to pull out a plaster that has become firmly stuck on? Would you rather just yank it out in one swift motion, so that the pain comes all at once. Or would you rather carefully and painstakingly tug at it bit by bit hoping to remove it in a less painful fashion?
Well, you’re going to face a similar choice when it comes to making changes to save your marriage.
In a nutshell, you have two options: Either you make drastic changes to yourself and then continue to live with them, or you make small changes, bit by bit until you’re comfortable with each and every small change you make. Either way, you’re going to be working towards that final goal, but the big question is: Does it matter which option you choose?
Ultimately, it doesn’t matter insofar as you’re going to be making the same types of changes anyway, just at a different pace depending on what suits you. However, drastic changes are definitely more readily apparent, and can shock your spouse and show them just how willing you are to make huge changes to help save the marriage.
On the other hand, while smaller changes will take time to notice, it can also give your spouse time to get accustomed to these changes, all the while noticing just how hard you’re trying to slowly but surely change yourself.
Essentially, what we’re driving at is – there is no real answer. Both types of changes have their advantages, and so choosing between them really is quite impossible. However, the one criteria that you shouldn’t overlook is that you should pick whatever you feel has the best chance of working for you.
All said and done, there’s no point choosing to make a drastic change, and then falling off the horse a week later. Likewise, the same could happen when taking baby steps, and it is equally as bad.
Just choose what you feel works best for you, and you won’t regret it.
